… and it’s a perfect analogy for depression.
So today I had a truly awful day. I cried about 4 times, and literally sat on the toilet floor at work and took advantage of the free toilet roll as I cried my eyes out because guess what? The depression is back with a vengeance.
It’s so shit, but shit happens as the bird proved today as it plonked a lovely brown mess in the middle of my windscreen. So as I was driving home, wondering how on earth I have managed to get this far in the day without throwing myself off the nearest cliff, I came up with a little analogy.
You may have to bear with me, as this get’s very meta…
So, as I sit in my car, I have the beautiful greenery of Surrey out of my front window. It’s right there, in front of my face, but what has happened – a bird has shit on my wind screen. So I’m trying my very best to look at the view, but I’m distracted by the shit on the middle of my screen. I’m trying to ignore it and I can’t. I’m thinking, ‘why is this bird shit on my windscreen of all windscreens?’. I’m thinking, I need to get rid of this shit but I want to keep moving so I can’t stop to clean it off.
Luckily, we have window wipers, and washer fluid for when these situations occur. However, I forgot to top up my washer fluid. I try and use it but the wipers just spread the shit further and further, running the view even more. I look at the screen and spot more and more bits of dirt, I look at the inside of the car and spot the dust. I can’t concentrate on anything other than the bit of shit now all over my windscreen and I’m not concentrating on my driving.
I am becoming a danger to myself and everyone around me – all because of this stupid bit of bird shit on my screen.
So that’s depression. It starts as nothing, we ignore it and think we can carry on regardless. We have chemicals in our brain that help us fight off bad thoughts and negativity but sometimes, like the washer fluid, we have run out without realising.
We become so focused on negativity, we can’t see the positives right in front of us. And like a dirty car, that has just not really been looked after properly, sometimes we need to stop to get it looked at. Either by reflecting and working on it ourself, or by getting someone else to do it – to valet it, clean it or in the case of depression – go to the doctors.
Anyway, that was my day and it wasn’t all bad at all. There were some positives, I just struggled to see them right away so as always…
Positive of the day: I won my first ever pub quiz last night and my work colleagues were super supportive when I cried at work.